A bit of culture

Friday Sadie and I went to watch Epworth's Play called a Seusicle (I don't think i spelled that right. Dr Seuss and musical combined).

Not a major fan of school plays, I see me going to one as community service. It's usually filled with kids who think they are funny and God's gift to the acting world. Their voices are soft and scratchy. I'd rather sit at home, put the DSTV music channel on and crack open a bottle of wine. BUT NOT THIS PLAY. This has to be the best High School Musical I've seen. The actresses where amazing and their voices blew me away. Enough of this warriors softer side, I should rather be instilling fear into any opponent who is worthy enough to face me. (But seriously, if its still on go watch it).

Saturday I planned to sleep in and laze around. 06:15 I was wide awake. Decided to go for a walk and ended up spending an hour being dragged by the two dogs through the Cascades forests. Battered and bruised we got showered and headed to the mall to get a present for Candice and Row's wedding. Geez do I hate that place! I like going to the mall with my Dad, we have a shopping list, we walk fast and we get out of there, done.

Saturday we had no list so we had to look around. I can handle male shoppers, they just walk but females are the worst! They walk slowly in front of you then come to a dead stop blocking the aisle and then stare thoughtfully at an item with their finger on their mouth thinking. What they think about I don't know. Probably "oooh, Shiny. I don't have a use for one of those but I'm sure if I buy this I will find a use for it. Mmmmmmm, I wonder how much is left in my budget for useless crap I'll never use but is fun to buy. Should I come back?........". Now the whole time this life changing debate is happening, I'm standing behind her trying to walk around or at least make myself known. Sadie sees my brain slip into neutral and grabs my arm and pulls me around into the next aisle and carries on to our destination.

3 Hours later I've deemed all the smart collared shirts in the mall crap or too expensive and refuse to buy any, I have one at home.

We arrive home and from all the weight I lost the shirts too small, eff. Sadie says nothing but the glint in her eyes gives her away. Behind closed doors she is doing a victory dance.

Off to the wedding we go.

The venue was awesome, really looked cool. Cands and Rowan looked flippen smart.

Halfway through blessing of the rings I get the sudden urge to watch Lord of the Rings when I get home. I tell Sadie and get a massive smash in the ribs. I must behave.

Lets be honest, men view weddings in 3 major catagories, Starters, Mains and Dessert. Man this was a win on all fronts!

Once the food was down, the dances where done and the speeches were said it was party time! Open bar, yip, free booze. Sucks when you are the driver, but boy did I have a jol. I was even brave enough to sokkie with Sadie. I like to think of it as windsurfing and I suck at it. The basics are pretty easy. Hold each other and move with confidence trying not to bump into anybody. Like dodgem cars to music. Sounds easy but my two left feet kept standing on Sadies poor toes. I soon learned to slide on the fronts of my shoes, great success, Sadies toes are going to survive. The only problem I encountered after that was Sadie kept doing tricks and mind reading which came next and how to handle them is a bit taxing on a small primitive alpha male's brain thats trained to eat, sleep and ......... kill? 

After the whole windsurfing scene I grabbed a coke and came back to the DJ playing gangnam style. One of the Grannies had clenched fists in the air and was going at it. Goooing mealies properly. This old lady was putting all the young guns to shame. Made my evening knowing you can get old and still party like a rock star.

End of the day a flippen awesome wedding. 

So this post took a while to write. Hopefully the 12hour MTB relay report will be up shortly.

Cheers :)

Zen of the Snowbeast

Every warrior needs a decent noodle, not the noodle found in your pants, a brain.

That's probably why I spent 6 hours this Sunday behind my laptop studying. I got into bed last night nauseous from staring at the screen and kinda just collapsed.

So on this whole warrior thing I decided I should take note of Bruce Lee and Zen up. I see they all meditate and it looks pretty dam easy. Just sit in one place with your eyes closed. Not hard. 

So I went outside and sat down by the pool. Crossed my legs and closed my eyes. 20 seconds later my idiot neighbor starts his lawn mower. GRRRRR, I calm down and start again. After a minute I'm bored. My mid wonders off and I soon find myself chasing after it. I finally catch it and empty my mind like the Internet says. A fly lands on my ear, I slap it. The bugger escapes and I now have an empty wandering mind and a sore ear. I empty the bloody thing again. A minute later The friggen poodle comes and sits on my lap. I'll let you take advantage of my meditating state you cretin! It licks my leg. This is not working. I RE-EMPTY MY FRIGGEN MIND! I sit for another minute and Billy the spaniel parks a crap less than 10m from me. THATS IT! Stuff this meditating crap! It's not made for urban warriors, rather warriors stuck in the middle of nowhere with nothing better to do than swing pieces of wood around at their siblings and making a killing off conning the Western world.

Talking about a con, so is meditation. It's just people paying somebody to let them sleep sitting up in their "studio". So they can then "start their day".

I'm a realist. I start my day with a cup of coffee and a shower.

Funny thing is science proves that the minute somebody mentions themselves and shower in the same sentence 80% of the listeners will picture them naked. Perves :)

With all that said Sades and I went for a good run last night. We took Billy and The Poodle too. As we left the house both animals had a pooh. Standing there in peak hour traffic with two dogs poohing is a embarrassing. I just wish they'd do it normally. Not shaking and trying to walk at the same time. Half way through we came to a dead halt. Sadie spots some people in lab coats and immediately stops to ask them if they want to tutor. Poodle reckons its a terrible idea and pulls on her Poodle Harness trying to get Sadie to move. Shocked I stare at her trying to work out how somebody can go from a full canter into business mode and interviewing people on the side of the road.

I'm not going to rugby tonight. I've got too much work but I'll go for a jog when I get home.

Have a great week all.

Frosti

They say its good to me different. Sadie didn't enjoy it one bit.

We went to a Mexican themed 31st up in Hilton and when I phoned birthday boy Dave he told me not only what food to bring, but to dress up.

Stress levels hit the roof, it's not like we keep a spare Mexican in the closet to steal his clothes in case of an emergency.

Anyways, Sombrero donned and fake mustache tickling my nose off we went.

On arrival we where the only Mexicans there. Nobody dressed up! Geez did I get the hairy eyeball from Sades. After a while we just got used to it and enjoyed a good night with good friends.

On my quest to be the Alpha male we went to a Steve Hofmeyr concert. 

Arriving I decided to go under cover as I only speak two languages. English and crap. 

The Indian Barman flushed with excitement when I placed my order in English. I wasn't too excited. Stuck between two very large men in checked shirts and chinos with absolutely no way of verbally communicating is a scary predicament to be in. 

The concert was actually not too bad. It was a bit like dubstep, sounds pretty cool but you have no idea what it's about.

Right at the end Steve asked who here is English and doesn't understand him. Getting her own back Sades lifts her hands to get his attention and points me out. Oh shit, what to do, what to do? Steve "kaks" me out and instructs Sades to teach me to speak Afrikaans quickly. I'm less worried about the guitar playing, pretty boy bards' "uit kakking" compared to the growing interest the audience is now paying me. 

Surprisingly I didn't catch a Brandy bottle on the back of the head. I was almost welcomed into the warm arms of the Boere community. They very friendly people. So I've decided not only am I going to be a Weapon of mass distraction, I'm also going to learn Afrikaans and release my inner Boer.

On the exercise front I have been attending rugby practice once a week. I still come home and flop on the couch and lick my own wounds. After kicking the Poodle off the couch she has no sympathy. She chooses to ignore me.

I got her the other day. I pretended to want to pat her and as she came close I pulled her into a squeeze into my sweaty shirt and held the fluffy rat there. I thought I was very funny until Sadie came home late from work. She walked into her room and it smelt like the whole rugby squad had walked through. My clothes where in the basket and I was nicely showered smelling of Radox. The search for the smell began. I proudly pointed to my kit in the basket and boots in the spare room under my desk. Smugly I claimed the smell wasn't me. 

Distracted for a second Sadie picked the Poodle up, and dropped it in a second. The pong hit hir and Poodle hit the bed. Me 1 Poodle 0. 

Well my success lasted three seconds exactly!

Being a teacher and a keeper of knowledge Sades put two and two together FAST. (It might have been my victory dance)

I got the look and yinna did I "kak" myself.

Long story short I spent the rest of my evening bathing and blow drying the dam Poodle.

The thing loved life. It lay in my arms as I blow dried it wiggling so I reached its whole body and you could see the smirk on the flipping things mouth. Dam you Poodle.

Me 1 Poodle 7.

My cycling is improving. Not enough to race African Champs this weekend but enough not to look like a sausage squeezed into spandex.

So thats that, my weekly round up. 

Have a good weekend. Go out and do something different. 

Cheers :)

  

Rugby Madness

I figured the best way to shed some pounds would be structured running at different intensities. In theory it sounds easy. Find something where I run at different heart rates to shed these bloody pounds and my cycling will become easier. Not so bad.

Holy cow I think I made a boo boo.

I joined a rugby club!

First practice I pitch up to I'm buggered just playing touch. I hung around on the wing hoping the ball wouldn't come my way. Thankfully it didn't!

Whistle blew and it was business time. 

Holy crap, after the first set I was done! I was seeing stars and had sweat in my eyes. My throat closed up and lunch appeared at the base of my throat. All the okes where standing chatting. No ways! Whistle goes and off we go again. At this point I'm following blurred dots which actually are people running in front of me. 

It doesn't help being an Alpha male, I have to keep my image. CRISIS: do run to the loo to vomit or do I do it like a man to one side and carry on. I hate having to be an Alpha male sometimes.

They tell us that now we nice and warm we can do some fitness. I don't like this one bit. The rest of the practice happened. I felt like I was on a roller coaster ride of pain. I had no control of my body.

When I got into the bath later on with a Winhoek draught I spotted a grass stain and small roastie on my leg - I must have fallen or been tackled. My shoulders also hurt so I must have tackled somebody- sweet, I hope it looked rad and manly!

Even the bloody Poodle felt sorry for me. When I was dressed and slipping in and out of a coma on the couch she came and cuddled my legs. The last thing I want is sympathy from that bloody cretin! Just to show I'm a man I kicked her off. Like a boss.

Second practice I get told to put my takkies on we going for a 3km warm up run. It wasn't so bad - ran with my mate Con and we did it in 21minutes. Thats 7 mins a kay. same as what my Dad finished the Comrades on, maybe its not so good. 

I'm now fitter and enjoying my rugby, I can feel the overall fitness in my cycling.

As much as Sades is running Super Tutors she got a full time job as a Grade 3 remedial teacher at Clarendon *BOOM*. So with all her getting everything ready we haven't had time to run in the mornings, but thats not an excuse from Monday we've decided.

This weekend I have two full days off so I have a lot of riding to do.

I'm looking for a relatively unfit cycling partner who is keen on getting fit. male/female/young /old with one requirement - have a bloody sense of humour.

The MIle

Last week I was too nervous about the mile to blog and this week I've been to broken but here it is.

We arrived in a bit of a rush as we where blindsided by traffic. So we quickly undressed got our caps and tags together and ran to the shuttles the mile provides to transport us accross to the start. The queue was massive and we where "worried" we might miss our start.

To our rescue a Karkloof Canopy Tours Land Cruiser pitched up and even though I'm a Landy fan I piled on and hung on tight to get to the start.

Almost there a stupid kid ran across the road and the driver screeched the brakes sending all us sweaty speedo clad guys into a horribly uncomfortable pile. Drenched in strangers sweat we climbed off the cruiser.

I made fun of Mom being in the blue group earlier on, turns out it was three batches better than me.

As I touched the water the nerves hit me, I was far from fit but the Navy was there on standby incase I drowned.

I suffered, the first bouy I convinced myself was 600m just to feel like I was further than I should be.

Never in my life have I had ear problems whilst swimming but Saturday I did.

I ended up doing breaststroke the whole way and when I got tired a rolled  onto my back and did an impersonation of a dying beetle which seemed to propel me in the right direction. Only draw back was I watched a small kid catch up 50m and sail past me.

When I finally reached the end I downed an Aquelle had a chat to Alex and joined Husky for a beer. BAD MOVE. In a minute I was on the ground sweating, writhing around feeling as if my chest was going to explode. I thought this is it, I 'm having a heart attack. The rest also started to get worried when my arm got pins and needles and the pain increased. 

BBBRRRAAAAAWWWWWWPPPP - the pain was gone! Hey? What the hell was that? Turns out its not clever to down a beer after an athletic event and all you need to do is to burp it out like a child. Lesson learnt, when I down my beer after the next event Sadie needs to burp me.

Mom and Sadie beat me :( I need a new sport.

Step in cycling!!

I'm really looking forward to the long hours on the bike in prep for Hill2Hill. This is going to be a real test.

Hilt and Dad reckon I'm gonna need to do 10Hours a week min! I'm making a plan to get an indoor trainer for Winter.

My motivation, when I get to the long hours I can ask Mom guilt free for her famous energy bars.

On a side note, who saw the meteor shower in Russia? 

I've put myself on standby, who knows, Hunger Games could be just put on ice.

I'm still an Alpha Male and ready to rock!

Sports Talk - Duzi - Mom's smurf group

So now I'm starting this whole sports thing I suppose I have to start Passionately supporting a team.

I've always supported the Sharks and Dolphins and National teams, but apparently thats not enough.

Somehow life puts me with these incredibly knowledgeable sports people and the conversation usually goes towards sport. "Did you see Steyns bowling this weekend?" How do i answer that?

Yes, I walked past the TV and saw Steyn did indeed bowl and News24 said he did well. If I answer yes I have to wing a 15min conversation based on the sports report I hear on the radio on my way to work and have to keep faking I'm a sports boff. The flipside is I could answer "No." and at the next braai I'll end up in the smoke and not allowed to touch the tongs. Life is complicated. As a test Sadie bumped into a friend in the mall and while chatting her boyfriend says to me "So what team do you support?". What sport? What do you say to that? How does somebody assume I know what he's on about?

With my brain puzzling I blurted out "Andy Birkett" then realizing Andy Birkett is not a team but an individual. SHIT!! Before I can recover and palm it off as a joke the girls say cheers and if we meet at a braai I will be assumed not capable of handling braai tongs.

On the Subject of Andy he's racing his rowing race next week down Pietermartizburgs refuse removal river.

It's quite popular and even has it's own TV Show. I think he must be very confident if he trusts my brother and Herb as his seconds.

This last weekend I went to watch the first XC race which was awesome, I rode my bike all the way across town to go watch. The racing was awesome to watch and the smell of my own sweat coupled with the smell of gum trees made me realise how much I've missed cycling.

I did hear of cycling's simpleton who tried a new sponsors product the night before and didn't read the label properly. He thought the "label read does not contain caffeine". Doffie tried it and spent the night awake.

There is hope for me if there people like that in the world.

Mom and I are both doing the mile on Saturday, this makes me nervous, imagine the horror if she beats me!!!

She BBMed me last night to ask me what does it mean if she's swimming in the blue group? I told her it's the group for Smurfs. I don't think she believed me tho. She probably thought "Dammit I BBMed the wrong son". Hard mistake tho, I saved my number on her phone as "#1 son" - not referring to the fact I was born first, rather to the fact I ROCK.....

The Poodle has been behaving, she now has two new toys. A stuffed elephant and a stuffed sheep. This has muffled her yapping as the animal is constantly in her mouth. I wish I thought of that before I gagged her and dropped her into the wash basket. 

I read a fantastic quote last night. " You can never fully trust the source of an internet quote" Abriham Lincoln

Cheers :)

P.S O ja, if you wanna see how @andybirkett1 is doing on the Duzi Follow my boet @HiltonFrost and Herb @Mark_Malherbe and they'll tweet when they see him.

Poodle Pedicures and TAPOUT shirts

Driving in town yesterday I saw this skinny kid wearing a TAPOUT shirt. Man that drives me mad, really, a skinny kid wearing a shirt that claims he is such an MMA fighter that he would inflict such pain to his opponent that his opponent would have to tap out. One day I will punch one of them in the face just to test how tough he is.

Gripes aside I got my Midmar seeding today. I'm in group Green. Sadie reckons thats the group for scardie cats - Dam straight, the seeder reads my blog. Sadie is in the Yellow group which we all know is for those who wee in the pool.

Hilts has been staying with us and the Poodle thinks it's great. No matter where the poor guy goes Poodle follows him and nibbles his feet. Hilt loves this, he reckons he hasn't had to cut his toe nails since he moved in. I think he just likes my sworn enemy and is to brotherly to tell me so. Dam that Poodle...

My bike wheel is at Minnaars being serviced and will be back tomorrow then its a week left for Midmar training. After that I will be running and cycling trying to get fit for the hill2hill.

For those who don't know what the hill2hill is, it's a mountainbike ride from Hilton to Shongweni near Durban. Theoretically it starts up high and ends near the coast, BUT the organisers take you through the Valley of a Thousand Hills. Trust me, I've seen the Garmin maps and they don't call it the Valley Of a Thousand hills for nothing. I have time I think. I'm not 100% sure when it is but I think its a bit later on in the year. 

Before the hill2hill is a 12 hour night relay my Dad puts together. I'm really excited for this. There's something special riding in complete darkness with just the beam of light from your handlebars lighting the way.

Well that lasted until 3am when I suggested the team goes for a beer for encouragement. The single beer was followed by a double cane and coke and things became interesting.

Looking forward to it again this year, hopefully fitter and can handle my booze a bit better - might even bring some home brew to make things fun.

Hope you all have a good weekend and if you at a loose end on Saturday there's some racing at Cascades, PMB in the morning with the main race at 12:00. Both Hilt and my Dad will be competing.