Ghost hunting and a lack of motivation

So things have been a bit spooky at home recently.

Three mornings in a row Charmaine has walked through into the sewing room and found the grandfather clocks pendulums taken out the cabinet and leant against the clock itself. There's also a funny duck Sadie won that keeps getting moved to underneath the clock. My first thought was one of us are sleepwalking. It's impossible, the room in question is part of the house that gets alarmed every night. This got me thinking about the girl I thought I saw two months ago. I saw a girl that looked like Sadie walk past me while I was studying in the dining room. The girl was walking towards the front door to go outside. I followed "Sadie" to ask her where's she going and as I turned the corner the gate was locked and Sadie was in her room. I put it down to me being mad as hell.

This has got me doubting, maybe I'm not nuts. Maybe I'm actually normal like the rest of the herd. No man, I'm a warrior, I'm above normal - Do Not Get That Wrong!

So now we have something in the house we not sure of. I usually sleep with a tazer and pepper spray next to my bed just in case Hunger Games starts while I'm sleeping. Bow and arrow chick wont see shit with a face full of mace and a couple thousand volts pulsing through her skinny un-warriorish body.

I've increased my arsenal to a tazer, pepper spray and my cars vacuum cleaner just in case our unwanted visitor decides to test my warrior skills. One bad move and the visitor will find herself being sucked up and stored in my hand held vacuum cleaner until further notice.

I now believe I am not only a warrior and a weapon but also a Ghostbuster. 

Now days with absolutely no experience apart from a bit of reading and an exam or three you can be whatever you want. Walk into the working world with a degree and a pencil and you are an accountant. ( I say this while I am studying via UNISA, can you say hypocrite)

I own a vacuum and I watched Paranormal Activities therefore I am now a qualified Ghost buster.

I have lacked motivation a bit recently and have just been doing exercise just because I have to and been putting minimal effort in. I'm taking a day or two off to want to run and ride again. Pointless doing something if you are not going for it wholeheartedly. The colder it's getting the cuddlier Poodle is getting. It's worrying, it really doesn't look manly when we have visitors and the rat comes and jumps on my lap to get warm. Stupid thing. I think she's just matey matey because we took her to Karkloof falls on Sunday after going to the market with Nicky and Husky. The silly thing had a ball chasing sticks and running around like a Poodle possessed.

Well done to Brandon Orpwood for winning u18 SA Champs for slalom kayaking (I hope I got it right, its the kayaking where they go through gates up and down stream). He now will be going to Czechoslovakia to represent at Worlds. Nice one Orpie!

You'll notice a "Cool Links" tab next to "Who's Who". Soon it will be brimming with cool blogs, websites and anything else I find interesting. I did say it will happen soon, I am a male, soon is any time from now till next week.

 

 

 

 

Manflu, the poodle and the parrot

So winters on its way. Days are shorter, nighties are getting longer and it's bladdy cold! 

Coupled with the depressing weather I seem to be on the verge of man flu. To those who have never experienced man flu, stay away. It's like death warmed up. You feel fuzzy and nauseous and literally couldn't give a shit about anything else but telling anybody within earshot how terrible you feel. They say it's worse for those who are around the man flu victim. 

I'm worried I get a full dose of man flu. Can you imagine this deadly warrior grumpy as all hell. 

The good thing is I don't have full blown man flu. I'm just tired and grumpy. This kills your exercise routine, you end up not being motivated at all to go and when you do go you have nothing to give so you just vasbyt and get it over with and feel smashed afterwards. This is not fun! 

Poodle has made a 100% recovery and is full of beans as usual. Her morning routine is to be let out of the little girls room, have a wee, wait at the front door and sprint into the house jumping on all beds or furniture to show her humans she is back and recharged for the day. If I'm still in bed she will jump up, have a quick nibble of my feet and try cuddle up for a quick nap. Day after her fit she storms into the house whilst I'm still in bed. I pull my toes safely out of harms way and tuck them into the duvet. Poodle rushes into the room, two leaps and she is on the bed and straight for the toes. "Too slow Poodle my friend" I think with my eyes closed half in dream land. A second later she is on my shoulder licking my face and defleaing my head. I give the rat credit, she makes a plan!

The Parrot attacked me on Monday, latched his stupid beak onto my hoodie while I was in the cupboard next to his cage.  Haven been bitten beforehand I paniced and swung around so bloody fast it sent him flying across the room. I wasn't to bleak with the parrot, he's obviously learnt from the warrior himself so well done boy! What I was bleak about is in all the commotion of me screaming (my manly warcry) and the parrots skwaaks nobody came running through. They all sat in the lounge laughing at the commotion they could hear. Least my fish still love me.

So this next weeks goal is to kick the sickness and carry on with a smile. 

It's my Dads birthday on Sunday so Happy Birthday Pops!!!

Cycling rant, Simbas snotter and Poodles fit

Sunday I went for a ride. I had to go through town before I got out onto the dirt road. 

I hear cyclists constantly complain about how cars and especially taxis treat them. I had no such problem. I even had one taxi slow down behind me and coasted while I rode across a taxi pick up point. Once his passengers where loaded and he had caught up with me he pulled right over and overtook me in the next lane.

I kept my wheel on or in the yellow line and indicated where I wanted to go. I had a pleasant road riding experience.

On the flipside of the coin I also drive a car. I am constantly in the red watching cyclists tide two or three abreast or just turning as they feel. Some will ride in the middle of the road at 30km/h and expect cars to wait for a gap to overtake.

I think life would be great if we could put all the aggressive cyclists and motorists into a wrestling ring with chairs and ladders and let them have it. Once cyclists and motorists put their arrogance aside and learn to respect the other as a road user too we'll see a lot less road deaths and also life will be pretty bloody pleasant.

 

Thats my moan for the week done.

Good news is my Dad gave me a new pair of cycling shoes for my hill2hill quest. These are bloody snazzy things. They Shimano's, black and red and have velcro and a ratchet type doer upper. I have never known comfort like these shoes. So now no excuses.

Sundays training ride went off without a hitch. I had a good time out and worked on my form. Thinking of little circles as I moved my feet round the pedals. My bum is becoming more accustomed to sitting on a piece of plastic covered in a small layer of foam. In short I am once again becoming a warrior.

My friend the Poodle is still nuts. She is banished from sleeping in the house as she has a leaky valve at night and I spend my mornings looking for spots of wee. I must admit the first night was glorious. I spread out and just slept. No feet chewing no jumping on and off the bed. Just me and my sweet dreams.

I have a new problem though. Voldemort the cat. Now his real name is Simba, but due to cancer he had his nose amputated. He now has a gap on his face. This means more dirt in the nose and more sneezing, without the nose its a drag racers dream, it's free flow baby.

As it's getting cold he now has taken to sleeping on our bed and when I say on our bed I mean on our pillow. I'm slightly allergic to cats so I now wake up in one of two ways. Either full of cat hair and itchy as hell or wet from a free flow Voldemort sneeze. Everybody loves him so I'll feel bad if I "misplace" him. Voldemort stays and my sleep continues to suffer.

Yesterday Charmaine and Mike get back from a run in which they took the Poodle. I now refuse. The bloody thing runs left to right and barks at any dog jumping against its harness rearing like a stallion although only a foot tall. Perfect position for a rugby kick ;).

Everybody gets home and all well, the dogs are drinking water and I'm doing my soduko on the loo when I hear. "Thombi, Thombi. Thombi's having a fit." I bolt out of there to see Thombi's front dipped and she's on the ground shaking in a weird position. Sadie who was about to climb into the shower come rushing through in whatever clothes she can find fastest and on Mikes orders we put her in the bath and cover her in cold water trying to cool her down. Thombi carries on shaking as we call the vet. Still shaking she gets packaged up in a towel and raced through to the vet. Mr vet says she has had a fit bought on by the heat. I will admit this and admit this once. Poodle, I was ever so teensy weensily worried about your health and in hind sight I should have siezed the day and thrown the washing in with you in the bath tub.

Now you ok it's game on!

Cheers,

Bruce

On a side note. I have been terribly erratic on posting here, spending time on my UNISA studies. I am now comitting to a new post every Wednesday and will be up at 14h00 CAT time.

Hi five for dedication.

[IMG]http://s1154.photobucket.com/albums/p534/snowbeast26/?action=view&current=utf-8BSU1HLTIwMTMwMzEzLTAwMjIxLmpwZw.jpg[/IMG]

[The link seems broken but should show simba minus his snotter]

What a good long weekend! Wine, Chocolate, Berg, Wine and good food!

Before we get into me cheating so badly I'm gonna rewind to the grueling 12hour that wounded me :)

Think of the hardest thing you have ever done physically............. Now stop thinking cos I win!

Some of you may have noticed that worldwide there was an event where people would walk for 12 hours at night to remember those who have passed away from Cancer or have survived Cancer and raise money for the cause.

Well my Dad being the adventerous type arranged to have a night mountainbike relay to piggy back the event.

Putting a team together was pretty easy but it did clash with a couple of 21sts. Our team consisted of Hilt (Kargo National MTB team), Herb (Coffeeberry Momson MTB team), Kelv (Kona DH team) and me (Sponsored by Dad). These teams are not fake, I landed with a bloody good team all three have represented highly in Mountainbiking so I had to step up to the plate (I wish the plate contained Sushi).

All participants did a lap as the sun went down just to get an idea of what the course looked like.

When the racing started Hilt and Herb took off like a shot and soon where putting a nice lead on our oppisition from Howick and Ladysmith. My first lap was a nightmare, I had a tiny bike mounted light that I bought off Bid or Buy for R1 and R35 postage. First bump the bracket broke and every bump after that the bloody thing would bounce and flip up into my eyes. The light was so weak that if anybody came up behind me with their light my shadow was so dark my light would disappear. 

My second time out there my Dad decides to come for a lap or two with me. He's already done 10laps (60km) so I thought the old man would be a bit keished so on the first small climb to a flat I tucked my elbows in, put my head down and was gonna show the old man a thing or two. I looked up and it was like daylight in front of me. I turned around and got blinded by what looked like Colin MacRae's rally headlights behind me. Yinna this old man can ride. The idea was to cook him so I pedaled like a man possessed, tasting all the Sushi I've eaten in my life popping up to see whats what. Right at the end of the lap I reckon I've got this, he'll take a rest now. Victory! Not quite. My Dad pipes up "Thanks for the lap Bugs, I'm going to put in a hard lap, do you mind." ( ONLY my folks get to call me bugs! Remember I am a ball of raging testosterone, so don't even try. Bruce is fine, Sir is better).

I did a couple of laps and then Hilt, Herb and Kelv put out a couple of power laps as damage control and make sure we maintained our lead.

Sades and my Mom did the thankless job of counting the laps each team had done. Huddled under blankets in the cold they kept us fed and motivated.

A great idea at 3am was to have a Black Label and coke. Hilt and Herb immediately passed out, 1/3 of a bottle is more than enough for a fitness freak. With Hilt and Herb sound asleep Kelv and I had a dig at the graveyard shift. My bum hurt, my quads hurt, my hands hurt and did I mention my bum hurt? Eventually Kelv left me and rode off into the darkness like a trooper. Half way into what would be my last lap I hit the wall big time! I was cooked, done and dusted in cycling lingo, I bonked. About 45mins left of the race. Kelv was keeping our lead there, Hilt and Herb where sleeping and I was left in the darkness with a piddly lucky packet light trying to find enough energy to turn the pedals just one more time. I stopped, turned my light off and sat on the ground in pure exhaustion. I stared up at the stars and had this major deep thought. There is so much beauty around us, but we lead our life looking only forward, into a puny beam of light ignoring whats around us chasing a goal set for us by society. I realised I had bonked hard if my mind could think up shit like that! Geez, I need help, I'm a warrior not a thinker. I fumbled around for my bike. Felt I had a water bottle on it which Hilt had made for me a couple hours ago with this stuff called Cytoforce Endure. I had a couple of sips and felt the sugar creep back into my blood and had a wave of energy. Riding that wave I had a wee and jumped back onto my bike. It was sore but I managed to get in just before sunrise.

We had done it, we kept the lead, but I tell you, if winning hurts this much, I don't want to win again.

On the Home front, The Poodle seems to have been deputized and now runs the disipline at home along with Juba the African Grey. She sits at the gate yapping, telling passers by to keep moving along. Telling them this is her turf. Between her and Juba our feet are not safe. Juba has learnt to climb down his cage and thinks its funny to bite feet.

Washing dishes the other day I felt a courtesy nibble on my Achilles. Thinking the bloody poodle was paling a new game I ignored it, hoping it would go away but no. The next bite would change my life and convert me to religion! Juba had me on the Achilles, I kicked to get my leg away but the bloody bliksem was still attached and after another two kicks he got a free flying lesson.

Now I didn't do this quietly at all. Screaming and shouting I told that bird his fortune and threatened to put it in the freezer with the chickens. Sadie and her Mom thought this was hilarious and started laughing from the lounge. The stupid bird can imitate a laugh and did just that. If parrots cost a little less we'd be one short.

I live in a zoo.

 

 

Make shift light bracket

 

Last minute adjustments done by Hilt

 

My bike afterwards

 Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

 

 

A bit of culture

Friday Sadie and I went to watch Epworth's Play called a Seusicle (I don't think i spelled that right. Dr Seuss and musical combined).

Not a major fan of school plays, I see me going to one as community service. It's usually filled with kids who think they are funny and God's gift to the acting world. Their voices are soft and scratchy. I'd rather sit at home, put the DSTV music channel on and crack open a bottle of wine. BUT NOT THIS PLAY. This has to be the best High School Musical I've seen. The actresses where amazing and their voices blew me away. Enough of this warriors softer side, I should rather be instilling fear into any opponent who is worthy enough to face me. (But seriously, if its still on go watch it).

Saturday I planned to sleep in and laze around. 06:15 I was wide awake. Decided to go for a walk and ended up spending an hour being dragged by the two dogs through the Cascades forests. Battered and bruised we got showered and headed to the mall to get a present for Candice and Row's wedding. Geez do I hate that place! I like going to the mall with my Dad, we have a shopping list, we walk fast and we get out of there, done.

Saturday we had no list so we had to look around. I can handle male shoppers, they just walk but females are the worst! They walk slowly in front of you then come to a dead stop blocking the aisle and then stare thoughtfully at an item with their finger on their mouth thinking. What they think about I don't know. Probably "oooh, Shiny. I don't have a use for one of those but I'm sure if I buy this I will find a use for it. Mmmmmmm, I wonder how much is left in my budget for useless crap I'll never use but is fun to buy. Should I come back?........". Now the whole time this life changing debate is happening, I'm standing behind her trying to walk around or at least make myself known. Sadie sees my brain slip into neutral and grabs my arm and pulls me around into the next aisle and carries on to our destination.

3 Hours later I've deemed all the smart collared shirts in the mall crap or too expensive and refuse to buy any, I have one at home.

We arrive home and from all the weight I lost the shirts too small, eff. Sadie says nothing but the glint in her eyes gives her away. Behind closed doors she is doing a victory dance.

Off to the wedding we go.

The venue was awesome, really looked cool. Cands and Rowan looked flippen smart.

Halfway through blessing of the rings I get the sudden urge to watch Lord of the Rings when I get home. I tell Sadie and get a massive smash in the ribs. I must behave.

Lets be honest, men view weddings in 3 major catagories, Starters, Mains and Dessert. Man this was a win on all fronts!

Once the food was down, the dances where done and the speeches were said it was party time! Open bar, yip, free booze. Sucks when you are the driver, but boy did I have a jol. I was even brave enough to sokkie with Sadie. I like to think of it as windsurfing and I suck at it. The basics are pretty easy. Hold each other and move with confidence trying not to bump into anybody. Like dodgem cars to music. Sounds easy but my two left feet kept standing on Sadies poor toes. I soon learned to slide on the fronts of my shoes, great success, Sadies toes are going to survive. The only problem I encountered after that was Sadie kept doing tricks and mind reading which came next and how to handle them is a bit taxing on a small primitive alpha male's brain thats trained to eat, sleep and ......... kill? 

After the whole windsurfing scene I grabbed a coke and came back to the DJ playing gangnam style. One of the Grannies had clenched fists in the air and was going at it. Goooing mealies properly. This old lady was putting all the young guns to shame. Made my evening knowing you can get old and still party like a rock star.

End of the day a flippen awesome wedding. 

So this post took a while to write. Hopefully the 12hour MTB relay report will be up shortly.

Cheers :)

Zen of the Snowbeast

Every warrior needs a decent noodle, not the noodle found in your pants, a brain.

That's probably why I spent 6 hours this Sunday behind my laptop studying. I got into bed last night nauseous from staring at the screen and kinda just collapsed.

So on this whole warrior thing I decided I should take note of Bruce Lee and Zen up. I see they all meditate and it looks pretty dam easy. Just sit in one place with your eyes closed. Not hard. 

So I went outside and sat down by the pool. Crossed my legs and closed my eyes. 20 seconds later my idiot neighbor starts his lawn mower. GRRRRR, I calm down and start again. After a minute I'm bored. My mid wonders off and I soon find myself chasing after it. I finally catch it and empty my mind like the Internet says. A fly lands on my ear, I slap it. The bugger escapes and I now have an empty wandering mind and a sore ear. I empty the bloody thing again. A minute later The friggen poodle comes and sits on my lap. I'll let you take advantage of my meditating state you cretin! It licks my leg. This is not working. I RE-EMPTY MY FRIGGEN MIND! I sit for another minute and Billy the spaniel parks a crap less than 10m from me. THATS IT! Stuff this meditating crap! It's not made for urban warriors, rather warriors stuck in the middle of nowhere with nothing better to do than swing pieces of wood around at their siblings and making a killing off conning the Western world.

Talking about a con, so is meditation. It's just people paying somebody to let them sleep sitting up in their "studio". So they can then "start their day".

I'm a realist. I start my day with a cup of coffee and a shower.

Funny thing is science proves that the minute somebody mentions themselves and shower in the same sentence 80% of the listeners will picture them naked. Perves :)

With all that said Sades and I went for a good run last night. We took Billy and The Poodle too. As we left the house both animals had a pooh. Standing there in peak hour traffic with two dogs poohing is a embarrassing. I just wish they'd do it normally. Not shaking and trying to walk at the same time. Half way through we came to a dead halt. Sadie spots some people in lab coats and immediately stops to ask them if they want to tutor. Poodle reckons its a terrible idea and pulls on her Poodle Harness trying to get Sadie to move. Shocked I stare at her trying to work out how somebody can go from a full canter into business mode and interviewing people on the side of the road.

I'm not going to rugby tonight. I've got too much work but I'll go for a jog when I get home.

Have a great week all.

Frosti

They say its good to me different. Sadie didn't enjoy it one bit.

We went to a Mexican themed 31st up in Hilton and when I phoned birthday boy Dave he told me not only what food to bring, but to dress up.

Stress levels hit the roof, it's not like we keep a spare Mexican in the closet to steal his clothes in case of an emergency.

Anyways, Sombrero donned and fake mustache tickling my nose off we went.

On arrival we where the only Mexicans there. Nobody dressed up! Geez did I get the hairy eyeball from Sades. After a while we just got used to it and enjoyed a good night with good friends.

On my quest to be the Alpha male we went to a Steve Hofmeyr concert. 

Arriving I decided to go under cover as I only speak two languages. English and crap. 

The Indian Barman flushed with excitement when I placed my order in English. I wasn't too excited. Stuck between two very large men in checked shirts and chinos with absolutely no way of verbally communicating is a scary predicament to be in. 

The concert was actually not too bad. It was a bit like dubstep, sounds pretty cool but you have no idea what it's about.

Right at the end Steve asked who here is English and doesn't understand him. Getting her own back Sades lifts her hands to get his attention and points me out. Oh shit, what to do, what to do? Steve "kaks" me out and instructs Sades to teach me to speak Afrikaans quickly. I'm less worried about the guitar playing, pretty boy bards' "uit kakking" compared to the growing interest the audience is now paying me. 

Surprisingly I didn't catch a Brandy bottle on the back of the head. I was almost welcomed into the warm arms of the Boere community. They very friendly people. So I've decided not only am I going to be a Weapon of mass distraction, I'm also going to learn Afrikaans and release my inner Boer.

On the exercise front I have been attending rugby practice once a week. I still come home and flop on the couch and lick my own wounds. After kicking the Poodle off the couch she has no sympathy. She chooses to ignore me.

I got her the other day. I pretended to want to pat her and as she came close I pulled her into a squeeze into my sweaty shirt and held the fluffy rat there. I thought I was very funny until Sadie came home late from work. She walked into her room and it smelt like the whole rugby squad had walked through. My clothes where in the basket and I was nicely showered smelling of Radox. The search for the smell began. I proudly pointed to my kit in the basket and boots in the spare room under my desk. Smugly I claimed the smell wasn't me. 

Distracted for a second Sadie picked the Poodle up, and dropped it in a second. The pong hit hir and Poodle hit the bed. Me 1 Poodle 0. 

Well my success lasted three seconds exactly!

Being a teacher and a keeper of knowledge Sades put two and two together FAST. (It might have been my victory dance)

I got the look and yinna did I "kak" myself.

Long story short I spent the rest of my evening bathing and blow drying the dam Poodle.

The thing loved life. It lay in my arms as I blow dried it wiggling so I reached its whole body and you could see the smirk on the flipping things mouth. Dam you Poodle.

Me 1 Poodle 7.

My cycling is improving. Not enough to race African Champs this weekend but enough not to look like a sausage squeezed into spandex.

So thats that, my weekly round up. 

Have a good weekend. Go out and do something different. 

Cheers :)