My Best Idea Yet

It happens to be my worst time of year at the moment. All the winter dust is being stirred up by the August winds bringing in Spring. The dust makes a bee line for my nose and hammers my sinuses, in turn making me a grumpy Snowbeast.

I'm not sick, just clogged up so I am still running but giving boot camp a skip for a while as trying to clear myself in front of a bunch of people is less than attractive.

Out on a run the other day I was thinking about the last Olympic games and how boring I found it. It was pretty cool watching the South Africans making us proud but the rest was so repetitive.

I also was pondering on the problem of over crowding in prisons.

Now being an alpha male I came up with an idea to sort both problems.

I call it "SNOWBEASTS ALPHA MALE OLYMPICS"

It wont contain any age restriction as kids need to learn the whole cause and consequence lesson.

All equipment and essential services will go out on tender in true South African style and awarded to the most likely to fail to deliver, go bankrupt or bribe any and all officials.

Each country will need to put forward Alpha males to compete and convicted murderers, kidnappers, rapists and haters of my blog.

Event 1: 5km obstacle course

Place: Hilbrow, Johannesburg

Details: Each country submits one criminal to run 5km through the streets of Hillbrow careful not to be kidnapped, shot or fall prey to nearby car bombs. Local Gangs will jeer the entrants on and provide refreshment stops containing Mandrax, Tik and Wonga. Winner is first one out.

Please note there will be no medical assistance along the route due to the trial run Ambulances being stolen and converted into taxi's.

All race coverage will be bought to you from Jozi Metro Cameras (the ones that haven't had their poles cut down for scrap metal).

Event 2: Skiet (pronounced Skeet - Afrikaans word for shoot)

Place: Coca-Cola Dome, Johannesburg

Details: Each Alpha Male is given a double barrel shotgun and in turn stands on the firing line blindfolded. One by one a criminal with a bell attached to their body will have to run accross the firing line hoping not to be shot. 1 point for every criminal shot. Later rounds the criminals will each carry a bell at different heights to confuse the Alpha Male. Those accused of hating my blog will have the bell tied around their groin.

Event 3: 100m Sprint

Venue: Greyville Race Course, Durban

Details: On the sound of a gunshot, criminals who where not hit by the bullet will sprint off. 10m behind savage dogs will be released followed by the pesky Poodle, winner is first accross the line and prizes will only be awarded to those who manage to survive.

Due to the nature of the event the criminals will have to find their own way out of the arena and it will be appreciated if they will put all dogs away after the event.

Next week we will look at a couple other events using bow and arrows, horses and swords.

Good luck to the Ballie, he is competing in the Masters Mountain Bike World Championship being held in Pietermaritzburg on Friday.

Hope you all well and you better all behave or we'll meet at the AM Olympics.