Fat And Getting Fit

What a good long weekend! Wine, Chocolate, Berg, Wine and good food!

Before we get into me cheating so badly I'm gonna rewind to the grueling 12hour that wounded me :)

Think of the hardest thing you have ever done physically............. Now stop thinking cos I win!

Some of you may have noticed that worldwide there was an event where people would walk for 12 hours at night to remember those who have passed away from Cancer or have survived Cancer and raise money for the cause.

Well my Dad being the adventerous type arranged to have a night mountainbike relay to piggy back the event.

Putting a team together was pretty easy but it did clash with a couple of 21sts. Our team consisted of Hilt (Kargo National MTB team), Herb (Coffeeberry Momson MTB team), Kelv (Kona DH team) and me (Sponsored by Dad). These teams are not fake, I landed with a bloody good team all three have represented highly in Mountainbiking so I had to step up to the plate (I wish the plate contained Sushi).

All participants did a lap as the sun went down just to get an idea of what the course looked like.

When the racing started Hilt and Herb took off like a shot and soon where putting a nice lead on our oppisition from Howick and Ladysmith. My first lap was a nightmare, I had a tiny bike mounted light that I bought off Bid or Buy for R1 and R35 postage. First bump the bracket broke and every bump after that the bloody thing would bounce and flip up into my eyes. The light was so weak that if anybody came up behind me with their light my shadow was so dark my light would disappear.

My second time out there my Dad decides to come for a lap or two with me. He's already done 10laps (60km) so I thought the old man would be a bit keished so on the first small climb to a flat I tucked my elbows in, put my head down and was gonna show the old man a thing or two. I looked up and it was like daylight in front of me. I turned around and got blinded by what looked like Colin MacRae's rally headlights behind me. Yinna this old man can ride. The idea was to cook him so I pedaled like a man possessed, tasting all the Sushi I've eaten in my life popping up to see whats what. Right at the end of the lap I reckon I've got this, he'll take a rest now. Victory! Not quite. My Dad pipes up "Thanks for the lap Bugs, I'm going to put in a hard lap, do you mind." ( ONLY my folks get to call me bugs! Remember I am a ball of raging testosterone, so don't even try. Bruce is fine, Sir is better).

I did a couple of laps and then Hilt, Herb and Kelv put out a couple of power laps as damage control and make sure we maintained our lead.

Sades and my Mom did the thankless job of counting the laps each team had done. Huddled under blankets in the cold they kept us fed and motivated.

A great idea at 3am was to have a Black Label and coke. Hilt and Herb immediately passed out, 1/3 of a bottle is more than enough for a fitness freak. With Hilt and Herb sound asleep Kelv and I had a dig at the graveyard shift. My bum hurt, my quads hurt, my hands hurt and did I mention my bum hurt? Eventually Kelv left me and rode off into the darkness like a trooper. Half way into what would be my last lap I hit the wall big time! I was cooked, done and dusted in cycling lingo, I bonked. About 45mins left of the race. Kelv was keeping our lead there, Hilt and Herb where sleeping and I was left in the darkness with a piddly lucky packet light trying to find enough energy to turn the pedals just one more time. I stopped, turned my light off and sat on the ground in pure exhaustion. I stared up at the stars and had this major deep thought. There is so much beauty around us, but we lead our life looking only forward, into a puny beam of light ignoring whats around us chasing a goal set for us by society. I realised I had bonked hard if my mind could think up shit like that! Geez, I need help, I'm a warrior not a thinker. I fumbled around for my bike. Felt I had a water bottle on it which Hilt had made for me a couple hours ago with this stuff called Cytoforce Endure. I had a couple of sips and felt the sugar creep back into my blood and had a wave of energy. Riding that wave I had a wee and jumped back onto my bike. It was sore but I managed to get in just before sunrise.

We had done it, we kept the lead, but I tell you, if winning hurts this much, I don't want to win again.

On the Home front, The Poodle seems to have been deputized and now runs the disipline at home along with Juba the African Grey. She sits at the gate yapping, telling passers by to keep moving along. Telling them this is her turf. Between her and Juba our feet are not safe. Juba has learnt to climb down his cage and thinks its funny to bite feet.

Washing dishes the other day I felt a courtesy nibble on my Achilles. Thinking the bloody poodle was paling a new game I ignored it, hoping it would go away but no. The next bite would change my life and convert me to religion! Juba had me on the Achilles, I kicked to get my leg away but the bloody bliksem was still attached and after another two kicks he got a free flying lesson.

Now I didn't do this quietly at all. Screaming and shouting I told that bird his fortune and threatened to put it in the freezer with the chickens. Sadie and her Mom thought this was hilarious and started laughing from the lounge. The stupid bird can imitate a laugh and did just that. If parrots cost a little less we'd be one short.

I live in a zoo.