Sadils has joined a boot camp and not wanting to be out done I decided to join a bunch of mates and go on Monday. Sadils had to work last minute so I went alone. I made my medical aid card visible to all just in case.
Bongani the instructor is built like a sprinter and has the size of melons.
I was blown away by this guys friendliness, destroying all stereotypes of what trainers are like. As a warm up we walked around a field. We Walked. For a warrior like myself, really. Time to show all the mere mortals what I'm made of. he he he. We stepped it up a bit with some running drills. Running drills, really, that's all I talk about is running. Really. Mere mortals, hope you all watching because this is how a warrior trains. To continue with the warm ups we did some type of skipping which for those that know me you will know I have the co-ordination of a blind penut trying to escape its shell. Then again I am a warrior not a bladdy balarina, we'll let this one slide.
Warm up complete, good I'm ready to show these mortals I can handle anything.
Think of cones set up 10m apart. Run to the first, pump your arms, second squats, third lunges, fourth burpees, fifth plank.
"15 minutes, GO!" Bongani goes from smiling fire fighter by day to stern fitness coach in a matter of seconds.
Holy (four letter word I may not publish due to the fact my Grandmother reads this blog) this is tough! I'm sure Bongani is shouting words of encouragement but all I hear is my lungs failing, heart straining under the new limits its reaching. I look across to Cands and Row, they all look fresh and have smiles on their faces. Really? I take a deep breath and act cool. All in a days work for a warrior like me. Ja right.
Did I mention we had to do sprints after completing each circuit. Yinna.
I soon fade into the mist of pain and 15 minutes later I'm barely alive but feeling good.
It's the funny thing about exercise. You can push until you vomit and feel great afterwards, drinking is backwards.
After putting all my vital organs back down my throat I see all the mortals chatting as if nothing happened. Shit, maybe I'm delusional. Like the Luxenbourg wrestling champion who only made the Olympic team 'cos he beat his sister having to take on the Russian champion who beat half the Soviet Union and single handedly stopped the Cold War by wrestling both sides nukes back into their silo's.
Maybe I have illusions of greatness as I haven't gone out there and competed. Spending too much time sorting my Hunger Games quick escape pack out (the dirty mags are still in their plastics so don't tell Sadie I'm in the garage looking at naughty pictures).
Wait, that's Bullshit, I rock
"I look across to Cands and Row, they all look fresh and have smiles on their faces. Really?"
ReplyDeleteNo, not really! Under the sheer exhaustion of the moment, you saw smiles, but in reality they were grimaces of pain.