A bit of culture

Friday Sadie and I went to watch Epworth's Play called a Seusicle (I don't think i spelled that right. Dr Seuss and musical combined).

Not a major fan of school plays, I see me going to one as community service. It's usually filled with kids who think they are funny and God's gift to the acting world. Their voices are soft and scratchy. I'd rather sit at home, put the DSTV music channel on and crack open a bottle of wine. BUT NOT THIS PLAY. This has to be the best High School Musical I've seen. The actresses where amazing and their voices blew me away. Enough of this warriors softer side, I should rather be instilling fear into any opponent who is worthy enough to face me. (But seriously, if its still on go watch it).

Saturday I planned to sleep in and laze around. 06:15 I was wide awake. Decided to go for a walk and ended up spending an hour being dragged by the two dogs through the Cascades forests. Battered and bruised we got showered and headed to the mall to get a present for Candice and Row's wedding. Geez do I hate that place! I like going to the mall with my Dad, we have a shopping list, we walk fast and we get out of there, done.

Saturday we had no list so we had to look around. I can handle male shoppers, they just walk but females are the worst! They walk slowly in front of you then come to a dead stop blocking the aisle and then stare thoughtfully at an item with their finger on their mouth thinking. What they think about I don't know. Probably "oooh, Shiny. I don't have a use for one of those but I'm sure if I buy this I will find a use for it. Mmmmmmm, I wonder how much is left in my budget for useless crap I'll never use but is fun to buy. Should I come back?........". Now the whole time this life changing debate is happening, I'm standing behind her trying to walk around or at least make myself known. Sadie sees my brain slip into neutral and grabs my arm and pulls me around into the next aisle and carries on to our destination.

3 Hours later I've deemed all the smart collared shirts in the mall crap or too expensive and refuse to buy any, I have one at home.

We arrive home and from all the weight I lost the shirts too small, eff. Sadie says nothing but the glint in her eyes gives her away. Behind closed doors she is doing a victory dance.

Off to the wedding we go.

The venue was awesome, really looked cool. Cands and Rowan looked flippen smart.

Halfway through blessing of the rings I get the sudden urge to watch Lord of the Rings when I get home. I tell Sadie and get a massive smash in the ribs. I must behave.

Lets be honest, men view weddings in 3 major catagories, Starters, Mains and Dessert. Man this was a win on all fronts!

Once the food was down, the dances where done and the speeches were said it was party time! Open bar, yip, free booze. Sucks when you are the driver, but boy did I have a jol. I was even brave enough to sokkie with Sadie. I like to think of it as windsurfing and I suck at it. The basics are pretty easy. Hold each other and move with confidence trying not to bump into anybody. Like dodgem cars to music. Sounds easy but my two left feet kept standing on Sadies poor toes. I soon learned to slide on the fronts of my shoes, great success, Sadies toes are going to survive. The only problem I encountered after that was Sadie kept doing tricks and mind reading which came next and how to handle them is a bit taxing on a small primitive alpha male's brain thats trained to eat, sleep and ......... kill? 

After the whole windsurfing scene I grabbed a coke and came back to the DJ playing gangnam style. One of the Grannies had clenched fists in the air and was going at it. Goooing mealies properly. This old lady was putting all the young guns to shame. Made my evening knowing you can get old and still party like a rock star.

End of the day a flippen awesome wedding. 

So this post took a while to write. Hopefully the 12hour MTB relay report will be up shortly.

Cheers :)

Zen of the Snowbeast

Every warrior needs a decent noodle, not the noodle found in your pants, a brain.

That's probably why I spent 6 hours this Sunday behind my laptop studying. I got into bed last night nauseous from staring at the screen and kinda just collapsed.

So on this whole warrior thing I decided I should take note of Bruce Lee and Zen up. I see they all meditate and it looks pretty dam easy. Just sit in one place with your eyes closed. Not hard. 

So I went outside and sat down by the pool. Crossed my legs and closed my eyes. 20 seconds later my idiot neighbor starts his lawn mower. GRRRRR, I calm down and start again. After a minute I'm bored. My mid wonders off and I soon find myself chasing after it. I finally catch it and empty my mind like the Internet says. A fly lands on my ear, I slap it. The bugger escapes and I now have an empty wandering mind and a sore ear. I empty the bloody thing again. A minute later The friggen poodle comes and sits on my lap. I'll let you take advantage of my meditating state you cretin! It licks my leg. This is not working. I RE-EMPTY MY FRIGGEN MIND! I sit for another minute and Billy the spaniel parks a crap less than 10m from me. THATS IT! Stuff this meditating crap! It's not made for urban warriors, rather warriors stuck in the middle of nowhere with nothing better to do than swing pieces of wood around at their siblings and making a killing off conning the Western world.

Talking about a con, so is meditation. It's just people paying somebody to let them sleep sitting up in their "studio". So they can then "start their day".

I'm a realist. I start my day with a cup of coffee and a shower.

Funny thing is science proves that the minute somebody mentions themselves and shower in the same sentence 80% of the listeners will picture them naked. Perves :)

With all that said Sades and I went for a good run last night. We took Billy and The Poodle too. As we left the house both animals had a pooh. Standing there in peak hour traffic with two dogs poohing is a embarrassing. I just wish they'd do it normally. Not shaking and trying to walk at the same time. Half way through we came to a dead halt. Sadie spots some people in lab coats and immediately stops to ask them if they want to tutor. Poodle reckons its a terrible idea and pulls on her Poodle Harness trying to get Sadie to move. Shocked I stare at her trying to work out how somebody can go from a full canter into business mode and interviewing people on the side of the road.

I'm not going to rugby tonight. I've got too much work but I'll go for a jog when I get home.

Have a great week all.

Frosti

They say its good to me different. Sadie didn't enjoy it one bit.

We went to a Mexican themed 31st up in Hilton and when I phoned birthday boy Dave he told me not only what food to bring, but to dress up.

Stress levels hit the roof, it's not like we keep a spare Mexican in the closet to steal his clothes in case of an emergency.

Anyways, Sombrero donned and fake mustache tickling my nose off we went.

On arrival we where the only Mexicans there. Nobody dressed up! Geez did I get the hairy eyeball from Sades. After a while we just got used to it and enjoyed a good night with good friends.

On my quest to be the Alpha male we went to a Steve Hofmeyr concert. 

Arriving I decided to go under cover as I only speak two languages. English and crap. 

The Indian Barman flushed with excitement when I placed my order in English. I wasn't too excited. Stuck between two very large men in checked shirts and chinos with absolutely no way of verbally communicating is a scary predicament to be in. 

The concert was actually not too bad. It was a bit like dubstep, sounds pretty cool but you have no idea what it's about.

Right at the end Steve asked who here is English and doesn't understand him. Getting her own back Sades lifts her hands to get his attention and points me out. Oh shit, what to do, what to do? Steve "kaks" me out and instructs Sades to teach me to speak Afrikaans quickly. I'm less worried about the guitar playing, pretty boy bards' "uit kakking" compared to the growing interest the audience is now paying me. 

Surprisingly I didn't catch a Brandy bottle on the back of the head. I was almost welcomed into the warm arms of the Boere community. They very friendly people. So I've decided not only am I going to be a Weapon of mass distraction, I'm also going to learn Afrikaans and release my inner Boer.

On the exercise front I have been attending rugby practice once a week. I still come home and flop on the couch and lick my own wounds. After kicking the Poodle off the couch she has no sympathy. She chooses to ignore me.

I got her the other day. I pretended to want to pat her and as she came close I pulled her into a squeeze into my sweaty shirt and held the fluffy rat there. I thought I was very funny until Sadie came home late from work. She walked into her room and it smelt like the whole rugby squad had walked through. My clothes where in the basket and I was nicely showered smelling of Radox. The search for the smell began. I proudly pointed to my kit in the basket and boots in the spare room under my desk. Smugly I claimed the smell wasn't me. 

Distracted for a second Sadie picked the Poodle up, and dropped it in a second. The pong hit hir and Poodle hit the bed. Me 1 Poodle 0. 

Well my success lasted three seconds exactly!

Being a teacher and a keeper of knowledge Sades put two and two together FAST. (It might have been my victory dance)

I got the look and yinna did I "kak" myself.

Long story short I spent the rest of my evening bathing and blow drying the dam Poodle.

The thing loved life. It lay in my arms as I blow dried it wiggling so I reached its whole body and you could see the smirk on the flipping things mouth. Dam you Poodle.

Me 1 Poodle 7.

My cycling is improving. Not enough to race African Champs this weekend but enough not to look like a sausage squeezed into spandex.

So thats that, my weekly round up. 

Have a good weekend. Go out and do something different. 

Cheers :)